The Wisdom of the Ants

May 20, 2012 No comments »

Emma Wrigley

By Emma Wrigley

It’s spring in Livingston Manor, and that means the ants are on the prowl.  No matter that my apartment is on the second floor.   The ants will come, and there’s very little I can do to stop them.  After several weeks of ant traps and vinegar, I have made the decision that waging war on the ants is not actually worth the time or energy, and I’ve started to observe them, instead.

They’re rather remarkable creatures, these ants – relentless in their pursuit of nourishment, seamless in their community collaboration, and their work ethic would put even the most dedicated workaholics to shame.  So far, this spring, they’ve managed to teach me quite a bit about flexibility.  It turns out that the gorgeous daffodils that drew so many ants to my kitchen table look just as friendly and welcoming on my front porch instead.  And those cashews I bought specifically for a recipe I’d planned to make next week?  Well, once the ants got rinsed off, it was easy enough to put them in more water and soak them overnight to get turned into cashew cream the next day.  Not only will the cream work for the intended recipe, but it will freeze beautifully and last for several months.

The ants have also brought home, again, a truth that has been a theme for me this past month: the importance of containment.  Turns out the only sure-fire way to save my food from their tiny, devouring mouths and impeccable nourishment-radar is to properly contain it.  If there is even the tiniest opening, you can bet your buttons there’ll be ants inside before you can blink.  I find myself taking extra care with my food, now – where a rubber band would’ve sufficed in the winter, it’s now a band-and-a-bag-and-a-box.  And it’s got me thinking…how much attention do I pay to my energetic container?

Shalom is a place where I’ve seen container building done very well.  In coming together as a community with a commitment to skillful loving, we weave bonds that can hold amazing amounts of energy.  So I understand how to go about building a container in a group of people.  But what about individually?  How do I contain my own energy field?  Where are the holes that let the proverbial ants inside to leach away my life-force?

As I pay attention, and continue to watch the ants, I begin to find answers to these questions.  Attention to my own nourishment is turning out to be a big part of my container.  Eating well, sleeping well, and keeping to a schedule seems to offer me a structure within which I can flourish and grow.  Spiritual practice is another component – sometimes a meditation practice, sometimes mantra, and lately dance, the discipline of spending time internally helps strengthen my connection to myself.  After all, isn’t the basis of the container we build at Shalom love?  I think it follows that the container within is based on self-love.

Inside of a strong container of self-love, I find I’m able to thrive, creatively and authentically; to show up as all of who I am with myself, which in turn spills out to others.  And so I’m choosing to thank the ants, for all that they’ve taught me…and to ask them, respectfully, to please steer clear of my kitchen counters!

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Grow Old Along With Me, We’re Having a Rockin’ Good Time

May 14, 2012 No comments »

Isabella "Izzy" Jacob

By Isabella Jacob

Elder, Proud Crone, Wise Woman

A group of Shalom Elders gathered on the Mountain the weekend of April 12th.

Activities included all of us dying and then furiously writing in our journals about the experience.

We were an intrepid group willing to go to The Dark Side, as well as wise, funny, mad dancers, very irreverent and very loving.

We have Michael Thomas to thank for these very rich and deeply moving gatherings.  Michael yearned to hear from his peers about what they were dreaming and pursuing at this time in their lives, so he tenaciously worked until the coming together of The Elders was a reality.  The seed gathering, to feel out how much interest there might be, took place a year ago at the end of a work weekend as an impromptu hour-long conversation.  There was such an outpouring of enthusiasm that the project took off on Shalom love and energy, and with a great deal of management on Michael’s end.

This was our second full-weekend Elders Retreat.  We were 19 participants.  Joy and Lawrence joined us as skilled loving leaders, and as fellow travelers no less curious than the rest of us to explore directions and dreams at this point in their lives. For the pace of the weekend, nobody spared the horses.  We were awakened at 7am every morning for yoga before breakfast.  Those of us who wanted to have a stretch in the hot tub before yoga were up earlier. And of course we danced our way into every morning, afternoon, and evening process either within the dynamic energy of the Shalom Room or held in the intimacy of the Meditation Room.

We couldn’t have done the range of rigorous emotional work we did without sustenance for our bodies which came as DEEELICIOUS meals lovingly prepared by Tom Wickers and happily assisted by all of us.  I made sure I smooched Tom every time I came through the kitchen.

We started Thursday night by addressing the question: What do I want to get out of the weekend? We responded in our journals. I found in retrospect, that I was deeply rewarded in my expectations and more.  But then…that’s the magic of Shalom.

We explored joys and fears in our lives…not too hard and not too scary.  We created our Bucket Lists…that was fun.  Gradually, with the guidance of our skilled leaders, we moved to confronting ourselves by imagining our own demise and the scenario we would like to construct around it according to our wishes and visions. I considered a Viking funeral and then decided…Nah…on a breezy sand dune overlooking the Atlantic Ocean is more my speed. We conducted imagined conversations with our dear ones…what would we say to them?, what would they say to us? We traveled farther into personal intimacy with journalled dialogues between Self and Death, and Soul and Ego. Try it sometime…even out of the Shalom context, you’ll have an amazing experience.

Beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon found us walking up the long woodsy driveway to the hand-built, off-the-grid home of Shalom neighbors and egg providers Amy, Wes, and their two really nice kids, Iris and Roan.  Amy had fired up the community outdoor bread oven and invited us to watch some baking and then eat the result: warm, crisp, olive-oiled focaccia accompanied by their own home-canned Dilly Beans and hot tea. We sat at their outdoor table to watch the baking and then had a tour of the chickens, the several head of cattle they’re raising, and the sheep with baby lambs who eventually provide wool for spinning and meat.

Saturday night brought an extended meditation inviting us on the trip we all will ultimately take.  We conducted our individual journeys into the Unknown in the cradle of the Meditation Room, guided along by selections of music both gentle and powerful.

Through every piece of process we experienced, I was astonished at what words, thoughts and emotions flowed out of me and onto the page.  My pen couldn’t move fast enough. And through it all, I was uncovering anew who I am at this point in my life, discovering my passions, desires, and direction, and realizing how fully alive I am.

We’d been asked to bring photographs of ourselves at all stages of our lives. We recorded who we saw there from the perspective of Now. We shared these pictures with each other and what tender fun that was!

The work culminated in our each crafting a soul statement for ourselves out of  Peeling Away the Layers of the Onion. My essence is:

Yearning for Love. And the comedian says: Not Cooked Yet.

My beloved partner found the heart and soul of himself revealed through his weekend’s work.  He said he had been living as if there wouldn’t be any end to it.

He found a heightened sense of awareness of the need for balance in his life and an urgency he’d never felt before, all embraced in an enormous sense of liberation.

In many ways, the Elder retreat wasn’t much different from any other retreat: Some of us struggled deeply, some not so much. The flow of the work has continued beyond our time on the Mountain. Our weekend’s theme isn’t an Elder theme as much as it is a life theme, meaning the same exercises would bear abundant fruit in a group with a full range of ages. We think we’re coming for one thing and we find ourselves gifted with a profoundly enduring learning about our companion voyagers and ourselves. But then…that’s the magic of Shalom.

We’re planning and looking forward to our third reunion later this year.  If you think you belong here, then you do.

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The Intimate Dance of Love and Compassion

April 27, 2012 No comments »

Joe Weston

By Joe Weston

I have the deepest respect for Shalom Mountain and the simple yet powerful mission it has held with sensitivity and fierceness for decades now. How many places on this planet consciously cultivate the power of love and loving relationships? So much can be transformed and healed when the mindful, empowered use of love is present.

Two times in 2008 I introduced and shared my philosophies and practices of Respectful Confrontation to the leadership team of Shalom Mountain. What we discovered is that Love can be even more powerful when she is accompanied by her first cousin, Compassion.

For many of us, we have experienced relationships where we thought that to love someone meant to give completely and unconditionally. This is fine on the honeymoon and in a retreat space where the boundaries are clear and the hearts of all involved are open and generous. But what happens when we engage with people at work who don’t know the principles of loving community? Or when you and your partner are just having a bad day?

What happens when the boundaries are not clear or when you are in your reactive, unconscious behavior? Will being nice and loving solve the challenges in relationship? Not always.

This is where Compassion and Respectful Confrontation comes in to support, guide and Love. Yes, it is appropriate to love someone deeply and still claim your space and state your boundaries. Yes, it is possible to say no in a way that still encourages further discussion and connection. When Love is propelled by Compassion, you have the courage and confidence to have those “difficult” conversations and still stay in an openhearted, respectful, juicy place.

In fact, it is BECAUSE of having the difficult conversations that you drop deeper into intimacy and the magic that comes from merging and mutual transcendence. When “unconditional” feels safe there is nothing more profound and beautiful; when it doesn’t feel appropriate, unconditional can be replaced with “acceptance” of your and the other’s limitations, boundaries and finite self. The practices of Respectful Confrontation help us to shine a light on the sometimes confusing and misty realms of love, relationship, feelings, wounds, and expectations.

Respectful Confrontation helps us to navigate and unify the seeming polarities and contradictions. By asserting your “no” in an openhearted way, you open to more “yes”. By setting and clarifying your boundaries, you expand into a deeper level of yourself and relationship. By having the courage to express your feelings and needs, you open to a vulnerability that allows your True Power to be revealed.

So, join us on the Mountain May 31 – June 3 and let’s explore the dance of Love and Compassion, of giving and receiving, of the infinite and finite. Let’s together unravel the mysteries of Compassion and tap into the power that resides there. I look forward to it….

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If you are interested in exploring the philosophies and practice of Respectful Confrontation,   you might consider joining us for the Respectful Confrontation retreat, May 31-June 3, led by Joe Weston.  For more information or to register, call or e-mail Shalom Mountain:  845-482-5421 or email@shalommountain.com

Joe Weston is an international workshop facilitator, author, consultant, personal life coach, creative social activist, and advocate for peace. He is the author of the fast selling Mastering Respectful Confrontation and the founder and presenter of Respectful Confrontation workshops and lectures. Joe brings a wealth of insight to his work based on many teachings, including Tai Chi Chuan and a variety of spiritual traditions—plus his experience in theater and various organizational trainings. His clients and students include the Dutch Consulate, NASA, political refugees in the Balkans, inmates at a California prison, corporate and non-profit employees from every continent, social activists, artists, middle school children, teachers, and parents. He also volunteers for the Liberation Prison Project, teaching Buddhism to inmates and is the founder of the Heartwalker Peace Project.

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The Eros of Spring

April 6, 2012 No comments »

Vyana Bergen

by Vyana Bergen

Yellow daffodils dance in the woods behind my home, the myriad of birds bring a cacophony of song, and the frogs have already begun their peeper mating cries – it’s spring in the Catskills! Someone said to me that it felt like spring had arrived in a sheer explosion of sight and sound this year, a sure reminder of Eros moving its life force through the manifest world.

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary reminds us that the word Eros has Platonic roots and defines it as “a fundamental creative impulse having a sensual element.” Sight, sound, smell, touch and taste drive our lives as we move through life in these bodies created to explore being alive.  So why when we hear something described as erotic do we automatically think of sex? Perhaps it is because sex contains some of the greatest teaching for being fully engaged in our lives.

Marc Gafni describes sexuality as a place where our erotic nature is at it’s most intense, but this potency of the sexual realm is only pointing toward something  much more universal and essentially sacred.  Here are some of the faces of Eros that Marc distinguishes:

  • Interiority, which is to be deeply connected to oneself – to really experience the divine presence within. In this place, we loose the distinction between ourselves and God and we are one with the divine.
  • Fullness of presence, which is to be really awake and alive in the moment. If are with another, we might attempt to see who is really there, hear what is actually being said, honor what the other is thinking or feeling, we might commit to really staying with the other’s process (hmmm .  .  . sounds familiar).
  • Yearning, which is really our desire to love and be loved (again, I think I have heard this before somewhere). Our desire in its deepest form is sacred and we can trust that it will take us to God.
  • Interconnectivity, everything in the universe is connected, we are part of a larger whole.

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If you are interested in exploring how your sexual desire and erotic nature can inform and transform your spiritual journey, whether it is with a partner or with the divine itself, you might consider joining us for retreat on sacred sexuality.  Two retreats are upcoming on our calendar.  The first is  “Erotic Partnership:  A Sacred Sexuality Retreat for Couples” May 3-6, 2012 led by Vyana Bergen, Cristian Graca, Shelly Reichenbach, and Jeff Hilliard.

The second opportunity is the Sexuality and Spirituality retreat, June 18-24, 2012 with Vyana Bergen and Cristian Graca.

For more information or to register for either retreat, call or e-mail Shalom Mountain:  845-482-5421 or email@shalommountain.com.

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Living a New Story

February 20, 2012 No comments »

Jon Terrell

By Jon Terrell

Last week, a participant told me about a profound change she had noticed after her first retreat. After the retreat, her old self-defeating thought patterns were not nearly so believable or powerful.  She felt relief at not being ruled by them.

She had a new freedom, and it was not just temporary, it was staying with her.

I’ve heard this from other participants.  In my own life, I have found it to be true, although for me it took several retreats to get enough of my “old story” dismantled to make a permanent change in both my outlook and actions.

I’ve taught meditation for over 40 years. My meditation teacher taught “thoughts direct energy, and energy follows thought.” In other words, what we think about we send our energy to, we energize. To use Shalom lingo, our old story gets continually energized by our old, habitual thinking patterns. We energize it and get trapped in it!

Most of us spend a huge amount of our time living in the world of thoughts, ideas and concepts.  We see through this lens. At retreats, we move beyond thoughts into more of our beingness…into our hearts, our bodies, into a new openness and freedom in the present moment.  Much of this is fueled by the emotional release work we do, freeing awareness and life energy that had been trapped in the old story.

Immediately after my first retreat I found an amazing difference in the way I felt and experienced reality…I felt newborn.  Like many of us, it was amazing, thrilling, extraordinary. But after awhile I gradually reentered a lot of (not all by any means) of my old thought patterns and perceptions.

I forgot what that openness and newness felt like. I had memories of the retreat and remembered that I had felt fantastic, but I was in a different place. It was only after that I went to another retreat that I remembered all the way through me again! Does this sound familiar?

And it was only after several retreats (I don’t think there was an exact tipping point so much as a gradual dismantling of the old thought patterns) that my fundamental experience of the world changed. The world felt safer, friendlier, more loving than before. My outlook on life improved dramatically….less a battle, more a playground.  I breathed in more deeply, taking more of life in; I exhaled more easily and fully, letting go of what I no longer needed and what I had outgrown.

Back to my conversation with the retreat participant.  After she had spoken about her relief, we had a moment of silence together, just being with each other, enjoying our connection. We breathed together, beheld each other, loved each other. What could be better?

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If you are ready to start living fully into your life, a Shalom retreat might be the way to jumpstart that process.  For more information or to register for a Shalom Retreat (offered every month) call or e-mail Shalom Mountain:  845-482-5421 or email@shalommountain.com. Jon Terrell and LJ Wooden will be co-leading a Shalom Retreat March 15-18, 2012.

Jon Terrell is a gifted intuitive, psychotherapist, energy healer, meditation teacher and retreat leader. He is an ordained minister, certified somatic therapist, mental health counselor and licensed massage therapist. Jon was president and training director of the School of Actualism where he started one of the first integral health centers in the US. He is a core faculty member of the Omega Institute and has led Shalom Retreats in California, Massachusetts and New York since 2001. http://www.awakenment-wellness.com/wellness-blog.html

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Holy Unknown

January 23, 2012 No comments »

Roger Cramer

by Roger Cramer

I came to Shalom Mountain in shambles, locked into work and expectations that totally exhausted me each day.  If there was a key to get out of this prison, I had no idea where to find it.  The therapist who suggested I go to a Shalom Retreat said that the work I would do and experience at the Mountain would be the equivalent of 100 hours of talk therapy.  It would spring me forward in my spiritual and emotional journey.  The thought of it scared me to death, – and yet, and yet what alternatives did I have?  This dark cave of apprehension coupled with the urge to spring forth reminded me of Anais Nin’s words “And then the day came/when the risk to remain/tight in the bud was/more painful than the/risk of blooming.”

That was 12 years ago.  And since, I have found the community and work of Shalom Mountain to be a delicious, deeply loving springboard into a new and creative life.  The community that gathers at a Shalom Retreat or a Winter Mystic, or a Men’s or Women’s Gathering is profoundly supportive, loving and challenging.  The processes used in the service of healthy life are stimulating and eye-opening, the leaders are charismatic and yet genuinely personal.  Each gathering seems to be a labyrinth of energy in which the whirlwind of Spirit moves in daring ways and people come alive to their own essence in ways that are almost beyond imagining.  It’s an amazing journey of self-discovery and self-love, where individuals and couples learn to honor themselves and find joy in the love of others.

One dimension of Shalom Mountain work that has been powerful for me over these 12 years is the Mystic Retreats, – Mid-Winter and Summer.  I came to the Mountain feeling constrained by elements in my faith that did not seem to match both the Light and the Doubt that I was experiencing within.  How could I give up beliefs, then crumbling, which had anchored me for so long, and been the legacy of my family, and yet were slipping away?  What I experienced on the Mystic Retreats was permission to explore new expressions of the spiritual life, learn from other wise journeyers, dance my spirit rather than think it all the time, dive deep into the Holy Unknown, find comfort in the loving embrace of community.  It has made all the difference in how my spirit grows today.

This next weekend, January 26-29, Nance McGee and I will lead a new Mid-Winter Mystic Retreat entitled “Gloriously made, yet stumbling toward home.”  It will be another rich opportunity to plumb the depths of Spirit and Joy in our lives.  Give a call, and come and join us.  At the Mountain the daring dance with God is like bread for the feeding of all who care to gather.

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Roger Cramer is an Episcopal priest, in retirement, living in the wild lands of his life’s transitions. A self-professed Mystic wannabe, for more than 30 years Roger has led spiritual processes and rituals, has been a spiritual director to many people, writes poetry as well as being a talented studio potter by avocation. Roger is a long time member of the Mystics community at Shalom Mountain and is delighted to continue to participate in this community through his leadership.

For more information or to register for the Mid-Winter Mystic (Jan 26-29, 2012) or Path of the Mystic (July 3-8, 2012) retreats, call or e-mail Shalom Mountain:  845-482-5421 or email@shalommountain.com.

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Love – A Weaving Together of Ideas

December 24, 2011 No comments »

Emma Wrigley

by Emma Wrigley

At this moment in my life, I am lucky enough to get to be in college at a school where the motto is “Trust the Process” (sound familiar?) and I get to design my own curriculum and study non-mainstream things like “Embodied Transformation”.  This past semester, I spent a portion of my studies on digging deeply into the concept of “love.”  A project arose from my studies – a paraphrasing and weaving together of various texts on love, that I’ve decided to share with all of you.  It’s a weaving–from the Christian Bible to Kahlil Gibrain to Shalom’s very own Principles and Skills, I pulled together as many profound ideas about love as I could find, and then re-wrote it all into a single piece of writing, with some of my own thoughts thrown in.  The project was both fun and challenging, and it broadened my understanding of love and showed me once again just how important love truly is.  We say it often at Shalom, but from time to time I catch a glimpse of how true it is and it takes my breath away: really, more than anything else in this world, we want to love and be loved.

On Love:

Love is gravity.  It is the force which holds everything together; the reason we are here.  Ever present, ever felt, but never fully seen or understood within the scope of a human life, love is the entire point of it all.  I could be the most amazing speaker in the world, using language as the medium for my artistic expression and moving my listeners to tears, but if I didn’t infuse my words with love, they would be empty and meaningless; discordant.  I could have immense spiritual wisdom, grasping the deep mysteries and manifesting wonders, but if I didn’t see the universe through the eyes of love, I would be nothing.  I could even sacrifice myself, my own body and spirit and become a martyr for a cause, but if I didn’t do it for love, it wouldn’t be worth anything at all.  No matter what I do or become in this life, if I don’t learn how to truly love and be loved, I’ve missed the point.

The love I’m talking about is a gift- goodwill in action, given freely and received freely.  There’s no way to earn it and no way to lose it.  I give love to you when I see you for who you are, unique and new in each moment, when I really listen to both your words and what’s underneath them with my full focused attention, when I respect you enough to honor what you think and how you feel rather than judge you for it, and when I support and care for you while holding firm to my own values, truth, and life-path.  I allow myself to receive love from you when I risk vulnerability by showing up authentically, speaking my truth, sharing my thoughts and feelings, and asking for what I need without attachment to the response.  Love exists as a response to need, but it cannot be compelled.

The love I’m talking about waits patiently.  It doesn’t rush ahead, but allows each moment to be what it is.  This love wants the best for all things, and never acts with the intention of cruelty.  This love isn’t selfish, prideful, or prone to jealousy; it is sufficient unto itself.  It cringes at the pain of this world, but delights in all that is authentic and true.  This love bears all things – no burden is too heavy.  It believes all things and is the belief of all things, for the deepest truth is love.  It hopes all things, eternally optimistic.  And it endures all things: it can never be erased.

The love I’m talking about is not bound by time.  In fact, love is the only thing that always exists.  It is the eternal, it is God(dess)/Spirit/the Higher Power.  There is a great truth behind all the truths of the world; the faces of the gods are masks that may be changed at will—The greatest truth is love.  Every tree, every star, and every sentient being is an expression of love and has something to teach us about the deepest mysteries.  But we cannot yet fully comprehend the mystery that is love.

This Love is the true Love that loves everything created. Love is in the world and the world is created by Love, still the world does not know Love. We are human, and we act in mortal, messy ways as we go about the business of trying to grasp just what this love is, what it means, and how to find it within ourselves and source our lives from it.  We blunder, children who cannot yet understand what it is to be an adult, and so act in childish ways.  The love one feels as a child is altogether different. It may be fierce and overwhelming, but it lacks the acute awareness that comes with adulthood; the knowledge of choice and responsibility.  But, just as we grow from child to adult and cease to act as children, so as we journey in consciousness and love, we will begin to understand what love truly is.  And as we grow, we come know this love fully even as we are fully known by this love in an experience of Divine Union when we understand the oneness of the all.

All things are made by Love and without Love nothing is made.  In Love is life and Love as life is the Light of humankind.  The universe consists of love making love to love, for love has no other desire than to fulfill itself.  Reflecting this, there is a magic to lovemaking that never fades, an alchemy of the flesh that never fails to evoke wonder, when the two become the one, when the two and the one become the three united: the trinity, with love as the uniting force.

And so when love calls you, follow, even though the road may be rocky.  When love sweeps you up and wraps its arms around your heart, let it, even though it may squeeze so tightly that you shatter.  When love sings to you, believe in the song and let it flow back from you in your own voice.  Love will be your glory and your pain.  It will support your growth even as it prunes away that which no longer serves you.  It will teach you to fly and it will shake your foundations, performing alchemy on you and transforming you into something new, so that you may know and be known in fullness, as a person, part of a whole, with a share in its purpose.

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A New Chapter for Women Loving Women

December 2, 2011 No comments »

Stephanie Roy

by Stephanie Roy

In October of 2011, LJ Wooden left a message on my voicemail asking me if I had any interest in co-leading WLW Retreats with her at Shalom Mountain.  It only took a moment before I heard a deep and resonant “Yes” in my heart.

I’ve always been something of a late bloomer and coming into my authentic sexuality was no exception. In many ways, I have the Shalom Process and the incredible Shalom community to thank for my own awakening as a woman who loves women.  I first came to Shalom in 1991, with almost 3 years of sobriety, to work on (what else?) unfinished business with my mother.  In the ensuing years and over the course of retreats too numerous to mention, the Shalom process held me as my soul attended to the broken places with my parents, my perpetrator, my ex-husband, my Creator and ultimately of course, with myself.  This amazing community gave me a perfectly imperfect place to re-play some of my oldest stories to entirely new conclusions. I came ‘of age’ at Shalom, discovering and exploring my boundaries, gifts, power, femininity, and sexuality with some incredibly amazing playmates and teachers.

As I gradually returned ‘home’ to myself, journeying out of my head and down through the chakras into my voice, my emotions, my power, and my sexuality, I found that my heart opened the most deeply to women.  And finally, all the questions I’d been pondering about my sexual orientation were fully answered in the spring of 2004 when I began my relationship with Beth, who is now my beloved wife. We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary this past October!

From the very beginning of my healing journey I’ve also been called to both study and pass along what I’ve learned. I was part of Shalom’s first “Wizard School” in 1996 (a seed which eventually blossomed into the Shalom Leadership Training Program), attended two rounds of Process Therapy training with Carol Jud, and was among the original four who participated in the first Internship Program in 1997.  Since then I’ve facilitated numerous Shalom & Unmothered Daughter Retreats, workshops on a variety of topics (including “The Work” of Byron Katie), and maintained a private Process Therapy practice. (Note: Bonnie Moore and I also have an Addiction & Recovery Retreat coming up August 9-12, 2012 .)

Stephanie Roy & LJ Wooden

I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to co-leading the WLW events with LJ.  I have enormous respect for her as both a retreat leader and a fiercely committed journeyer.  We each bring a very different set of gifts to the table and together I think we’ll make a fun, exciting and powerful team!  Please support us with your open, loving hearts as we explore and develop this new chapter in the on-going story of Women Loving Women on Shalom Mountain.

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Stephanie Roy is a Process Therapist and Retreat Leader with 22 years of sobriety. She has a B.S. Degree in Human Services and extensive post-graduate training including two years of Process Therapy and two years of Retreat and Leadership Training at Shalom Mountain. She has facilitated workshops and retreats in the Northeast USA and Ireland and has maintained a private therapy practice since 1995.

The next WLW retreat led by Stephanie and LJ is January 5-8, 2012.  For more information or to register, call or e-mail Shalom Mountain:  845-482-5421 or email@shalommountain.com.

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Elder Retreats Launched

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Carol and Peter - Shalom Elders

by Michael Thomas

“I don’t think I’m qualified to be an Elder” was what I said when Lawrence asked me to step into that role.  In fact, I wrote him a very long letter to elaborate on my feelings (which he completely ignored). But something happened over the 2011 work weekends. An invitation went out from Joy and Lawrence to any of us who thought we were at least old enough to qualify as elders: Let’s convene over Sunday breakfast to hang out together and discuss—what? Not sure. And what’s an elder anyway?  Come and see and let’s talk about who we are today and what we want.

In those little meetings in the back office, we fell gratefully back into the arms of community as we had known and loved it at Shalom. It was still there. We told our truths, shared our uncertainties about whether we still belonged here, wrinkles, bellies, and all, we shared our longing for renewing that powerful core sense that there was a place beyond our own homes our own families where we could still belong fully expressed with all our warts and glories. We wanted more.

And so was born the first Shalom Mountain Elder Retreat ever. It was overbooked solid without a single phone call. The waiting list remained long. It didn’t matter that we were still figuring out what an elder is anyway. The magic of the mountain was still strong. We spent a super time reconnecting with our tribe, our cohort, those with whom we share so much history.

It started low key, Joy and Lawrence leading. Stories Friday morning in which we all began to articulate what it meant to us to have arrived at this point in our lives. Friday afternoon we took time to list our personal and professional accomplishments over our lifetimes, and then to share with the groups those of which we are particularly proud. Many of those accomplishments express skills and talents that still have significant value not only to Shalom but to the broader world community in which we live.

In the evening, we were reminded that along with the bright light of our accomplishments, we still have darker sides to attend to and heal. Sobering questions explored in a fair witness framework: Who has hurt or betrayed us who we now need to forgive? Who have we hurt or betrayed who we now need to ask forgiveness And finally, how have we betrayed or hurt ourselves and what can we do to make amends and heal?

We then looked beyond our own lives to examine our relationship to the wider Shalom community. It was a little challenging, since there were no members of the wider community there to express how they see and what they would like from us. Nevertheless, being intrepid elders, by this point of the weekend, we pressed on to draft a statement of our purpose and role on the Mountain.  Here it is:

“We the Elders of Shalom continue to dedicate ourselves to the transformational journey of living life to the fullest. We are a dynamic community that embraces the Skills and Principles of Loving. As a vital part of the Shalom community, we use our resources to inspire generosity, creating positive change. As we look to the past and the future with wisdom, love, and spirit, we share our gifts and passions with each other, the Mountain, and the world.”

Additional Elder Retreats are being planned for the future. We can’t wait!

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Slowing Towards Grace

November 23, 2011 No comments »

Nance McGee

by Nance McGee

“To be grateful is to recognize

the Love of God is everything . . .

Every breath we draw is a gift;

every moment of existence is grace.”

~ Thomas Merton ~

I do well with planning and agendas and structure so even as I promised myself a few days of relaxation and connection with friends, in the preparation to load the car and get on the road I feel the pull to get one last thing done . . . and it seems “one last thing” begets one last thing!

Oh to just slow down and allow myself to notice ~ like the lingering scent of freshly made cranberry relish.   As I allow that scent to enter me, I feel the fullness of heart that this time of year inevitably brings.  The simple recognition of slowing down and noticing “every moment of existence”.

In this particular ‘moment of existence’, as I write this note, a small, black puppy demanding my undivided attention becomes my imperative.  So it is in this moment, as I resist “one last thing”, there is grace.

I wonder how often I am attentive to what is right in front of me demanding my attention and when I’m too busy with something else and miss the moment of grace?

So for this morning, I am slowing down.  I’m noticing the leaves have fallen from the branches and the natural world is moving toward sabbath and silence.  This moves me toward “meditation on a fallen leaf” . . . and then I notice 20 minutes has passed; my estimated time of departure has passed and though the urge toward getting on the road plays in the background, the voice I listen to this day is; “stay, just a little bit longer”.  And so I do.

As I prepare to travel on what is apparently the busiest travel day of the year (USA), I find myself slowing toward grace ~ breathing in the abundance of my life, knowing that I belong and practicing the sacrament of gratitude.

In this season of gratitude, may we all know moments of thanksgiving.

May we reach out to our beloved others in celebration for their loving presence in our lives.

May we embrace the coming season of sabbath and silence and allow the presence of grace . . . sometimes dressed as a small, black puppy!

In gratitude and grace,

Nance

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Nance McGee is the Director or Programs & Operations at Shalom Mountain.  Nance is a body-centered, process-oriented therapist in private practice and has led retreats and workshops at Shalom Mountain and in communities in the U.S. and abroad. Nance has extensive experience working with addictions recovery, family systems and has specialized training in the healing of complex trauma (Somatic Experiencing). She is passionate about the power of loving community, the joy of being a woman and in deepening the journey to God.

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